It will be difficult but you can save your relationship after cheating. The pain of discovering that your partner has been unfaithful is immense and needs to be addressed. But you can recover and move on to have a stronger partnership than before.
You need to examine if both of you should be together in the first place. You may have spent years just drifting along but are you really happy? Why not make a list of all the things you love about your partner and then all the things that make you mad. The first should obviously be longer.
Do you enjoy being with your other half? Does he make you laugh? Do you share the same values, goals, views on child-rearing? Similar ideals will help take a relationship through the troubled times that every partnership experiences.
Is your relationship based on fairness? Do you and your spouse see each other as equals? If you are answering positively to these questions, then you have a great chance of recovering and building a stronger bond.
In order to prevent the person cheating again, you need to examine the factors that caused them to stray in the first place. Were you ignoring them? Possibly not consciously but it is often our significant others that get left at the bottom of the pile as we deal with other more pressing situations.
You probably cannot save your marriage by yourselves. Third party counseling should be considered if only to provide someone who will remain impartial as you sort through your issues. It would be virtually impossible for a friend or relative to fulfill this role.
Has your partner cheated before? If he or she has then I am afraid that the chances of them not doing so again are slim. But if this is the first time, do not think it will automatically happen again. Sometimes an opportunity arises when someone is vulnerable. They may have had too much to drink or be very depressed over a certain situation. You may have been having fights for a number of weeks and it just all got too much.
In order to recover your relationship after cheating, you will need to take things slowly and get to know each other once again. Try to let go of the blame and do not throw the cheating episode into every argument. Try to be consistent and supportive of each other. Both of you want this to work so you need to put all your efforts into saving it. Try not to take each other for granted and show appreciation for the little things. Grand gestures are all very well but they don’t really play a part in everyday life.
Your mutual trust is bound to have been damaged so you need to work on this. The partner who cheated will have to understand that the other person is going to want to know where they are and who they are with. You as the other partner needs to try to be more trusting or you will never save the relationship after cheating.