How Do You Get A Blended Family That Works? Is it possible to? Becoming a successful blended family does not happen by itself. More than 60% of partners with new families arise after a divorce split up within five years. How do you prevent that?
An article was published in the Financieel Dagblad on October 10, 2020, in which Pauline Schonewille (mediator specialized in blended families and author) and Marianne Smulders (coach and mediator) explain where bottlenecks often exist and what you can do to ensure that a new family is as good as possible and ready to grow.
When the expectations of the partners (and the children) about the blended family do not match, it often leads to tension that can be prevented. Awareness of the role of a divorced parent and clarity for the children are the first steps. If there are, a new equilibrium grows, with room for a new partner.
Give yourself and the kids time. The divorce must be processed by the children and by the parents. And make sure you are prepared and consciously build the blended family together with your new partner. Make a plan together, and discuss expectations back and forth.
With a so-called step plan or a step concept, you increase the chance of success of the new family. A new family does not grow in the same natural way as the first family. How do you connect well with the parenting plan or with two parenting plans, and how do you merge the two families well? Thinking about it and discussing it well with each other increases the chance of a harmonious new family.